What it looks like from inside of Covid: Part II of My Spiritual Walk with Covid.
November 15 I came down with what I thought was the flu. I was sick for nearly two week before EMS was called and I went to the hospital. There I discovered I had Covid. I was lucky to have been admitted because there were only a few beds available. Once admitted I was taken to ICU. No one said to me you are in ICU. They gently used the words, "You are in the part of the hospital where do constant monitoring." Of course if I was in my right mind I would have known it was ICU, but as I told you in my last article, I was in my Covid mind. Oh yes it is a real thing. In Covid mind you can lose all perspective because you get caught up in a repeating loop of one or two thoughts. They just repeat over and over and this of course tires you out. Mostly because it keeps you from sleeping and that starts a path downhill in all kinds of ways. You don't really realize simple things you would if you were not sick. So you don't really realize the seriousness of your condition. I kept telling my family "I will be fine if I just need more rest. ". All the while I am panting to breathe. My Pulsox measurements (how much oxygen I was taking in) was at 79% You are not supposed to drop below 90%. I knew that but it just did not click. I did not request help, my daughter and best friend stepped in and got it for me. Thank goodness. My words of wisdom, don't wait. When you feel sick get tested. It could save your life.
Now spiritually I am crystal clear that you focus on what you want. so I was focused on recovering.. I just had no clear vision of how sick I was. Once in the ICU and in the quiet of my room, I went through this phase of "unraveling." What I mean by that is my brain started to get untangled. I would lay in the bed, all lights off, looking out the window, not really focused on anything I was looking at, and I could see in my mind's eye these long strands of what looked like cords slowly untangling. The cords represented my thoughts that were all knotted and twisted. Not just from the illness, but from an accumulation of unresolved ideas, emotions and perceptions from over time. It was such a relaxing experience that I would lay there like that for hours in the most relaxed and calm state. Somehow I knew intuitively my spirit was working in it's own way to heal my body and my mind in this process. I saw things from my past and let go. I saw things that had happened in my life and garnered the wisdom from each situation. As I lay there the tapestry of my life was being weaved into the most beautiful piece of living art. I was gaining so much understanding of why things happened when they did, why they did and how they did with the outcome always perfect for me on the path I am on. I exhaled so many times. It was the most restful I had been in such a long time. I felt so many emotions, relief, peace, hope, happiness, and most of all the wisdom that there is a Divine and perfect order to life. You can know and feel confident, calm and certain of how things come together always for your good (even if you don't understand at that time ) when you stay focused on the now moment.
The Present is a gift if you let it be. But you have to do the work to stay conscious in the right now and stay out of the past. When you do you will see there is a beautifully orchestrated flow that is moving in your life. You just have to see it and then step into it. I did in the biggest way I have ever done in that hospital bed. My life is forever changed. The biggest thing being that I am peaceful now more than ever. I believe now more than ever that everything is working out for me all the time. I may not know how but I expect it to and it does in ways greater than I ever imagined.
All of this opened new doorways to my spiritual home within my heart. This is the place that is our true reality. Now my perspective was shifting to a greater of seeing the Matrix underneath all things. And it felt better in every moment so my inner peace was becoming my outer peace. My body may have been working hard to healed, but my spirit was expanding and opening to a greater world within. I felt a new calm that was more enjoyable than anything I had experienced. From this new peace I had messages, lessons and vision shared with me to expand my wisdom. I will share more of this next time.
All in all I am very grateful to be able to say this to you...
Have a most amazing and blessed New Year in 2022. May all that you desire come out of the unknown to you in wonderous ways.
May you now see miracle after miracle unfolding for you in 2022. It is all the sweeter when we recognize it as it is happening!
Much Love,
Deb